Why on earth is the header image on Jezebel a big red splotch decorated with the words “the human stain.” imploring me for horrifying tales from menstrual cycles past?

“Rust-spotted underwear. Ruined pants. Discolored dining chairs. Crippling cramps. Chances are, if you’ve had your period, you’ve had a menstruation mishap.”

Really, Jezebel?

Here’s the thing: I do not have any shockingly disturbing stories about my period. Perhaps I don’t take it seriously enough, or the shame of vaginal bleeding is lost on me. More than anything, I don’t think of my uterus as being possessed by a jealous, mythical she-beast, aka the “pushy and relentless bitch Aunt Flo.”

I will say this: the comments section reveals some value to this exercise: women who otherwise are experiencing irregular periods are speaking up and others are encouraging them to find help. This single step in the right direction towards humanizing women’s experiences is accompanied by two steps back: (1) the tagline and request assume that Jezebel’s readership is uterus-filled and (2) the space it opens up for discussing women’s bodies is thus narrowly prescribed from the get go.

Then again, maybe I’m just being surly because it’s that time of the month. I blame it all on the demon in my vagina.